Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
