found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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