I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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