yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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