Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
