YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
