So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
