I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize