tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
