oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Come on in and take your pants off
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