my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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