so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
