sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize