Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
