there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Duck Duck Cougar?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
