I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize