The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
