So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
