She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
