Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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