4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
