so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
