my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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