hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize