I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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