Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
sex in a hospital.. check
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
