We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
