i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
where am i from again
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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