I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
