My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
