So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
