quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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