I must be too annoying 4 u.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
