Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize