Please, let me fuck your mom
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
