i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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