drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
