I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
