bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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