That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
