i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
