I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
