so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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