She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
