I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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