Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
