I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
lets start a swedish sibling band together
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
