Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am puke
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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