Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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