your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
