haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
