Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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