guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
