well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize