what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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