Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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