No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
birth control should be required to get into college
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
