There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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