Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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